Happy Freakin' New Year!

Well, howdy! It's been nearly a month since I've updated this blog (been plenty busy on my blog about Dad's cancer, though...), so I figured it was high-time to do so. Honestly, the period right before Christmas was an ugly one for me, so I really didn't have the emotional energy to keep things up-to-date.

I am glad that Christmas is over, honestly. And it's a huge deal for me to say that, since I am a major Christmas freak. It is hands-down my favorite holiday and I love everything about it. I love the parties, I love the chaos, I love the food, I love the music, I love listening to the Christmas story being read straight from the Bible, and I love shopping for gifts for my loved ones--hey, I even love shopping on Black Friday and Christmas Eve (although that's not really saying anything because I'm a certified, card-carrying shopaholic). But this year...I just couldn't get going. And this year should have been a very exciting Christmas for me because Dan turned three this fall and thus was very much aware of the holiday. He had a good time last Christmas and had fun opening gifts, but this Christmas, he was very aware of all the hoopla surrounding the holiday. Still, though, I couldn't muster up much enthusiasm. Why, you ask?

Because there was the terrible "this is probably our last Christmas with Dad" aura hanging over the entire thing. And with that came the pressure of making everything perfect and special and meaningful, and...you know what? It can't be done. It is not humanly possible to infuse that much meaning into something like that under that kind of pressure. Those moments that we cherish and look back on fondly happen spontaneously--they're not planned like some kind of school play. And I knew that. And--if we're really being honest here--I just didn't want to deal with everything. I've never been the ostrich type before, but I sure do seem to be burying my head in the sand to an extent. That's not to say that I'm ignoring my parents or anything like that--certainly not. I'm helping where I can, going to visit, updating my blog for friends and family, etc... But emotionally, I'm just doing my best not to deal with it.

Christmas was good, though. All of my siblings came up--Danny, Stef, and Bridget arrived Christmas Eve and stayed with us, which was SUPER fun, as always, and Tina and Tonia arrived on the 26th. It was total chaos at times, but it always makes my heart happy to get to spend time with my sibs. With five of us living in three different cities in three different states, and with all of us having children (except Danny, whose kids are grown and gone), it is exceedingly difficult to coordinate a situation in which all five of us can get together. It is always a happy, fun time when we can succeed. We managed it two Christmases ago, and it was the Best. Christmas. EVER. That will be the one I look back on and say, "Wow. Now that's what it's all about."

So...I have rambled on for awhile now, but I really had to get all of that out. The holidays are past, and the pressure is off. The new year is upon us, and I wish each of you a happy, healthy, blessed new year. May this year be the best ever.