Cancer. It's getting easier to say, although it still sounds odd being in the same sentence with my dad. I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of love from my amazing friends and I love and cherish each of you. Thank you for your love and concern.
We don't know any more than we did, but we do have an appointment with the oncologist. After gathering recommendations from friends, my parents chose Dr. Johnson in Chattanooga (yes, we are doctor snobs, as my husband says, and pretty much go to Chattanooga for everything) as my father's oncologist. The only caveat? They couldn't get an appointment until December 15th. I was absolutely livid (along with everyone else...except Dad) that there would be an almost three-week wait between the diagnosis and the appointment with the specialist, but Dad has been assured that that is actually a fairly normal wait time and he wants us to quit freaking out about it.
Dad's attitude about this whole thing is just amazing. He has been very nonchalant and matter-of-fact about it. "It is what it is," he keeps saying. That was his mantra in the excruciating period of time between when we first knew there were lesions on his liver and the time that we actually got the diagnosis. He will be a great patient. Physically, he feels lousy, of course. The main symptom (other than general malaise) that he has been having is a persistent nausea. The nausea isn't so bad that it causes vomiting or anything like that, but he has a hard time working up an interest in eating. If you know my dad, you know that he has pretty much always been thin as a rail, and he has lost 20 or 30 pounds so far, just due to his lack of appetite. The method of choice so far in dealing with the nausea has been Phenergan (a miracle drug, in my opinion!), but it hasn't done much for him, so his gastroenterologist gave him a prescription for Zofran, which is actually a drug that chemo patients commonly use to control nausea and vomiting. He said it hadn't done much for him when he took the first one, but I haven't asked him about it since.
We had a nice Thanksgiving dinner last night. Mark, Dan, Kate, Laura, Eric, Luke, Emma, and I all gathered at Mom and Dad's for ham, fried chicken, Mom's delicious broccoli casserole, and a bunch of other yumminess. It was a good time of fellowship.
Above all, we just continue to ask for prayer--prayer that Dad will remain in good spirits, that his energy level will increase, that the nausea will taper off, and that the oncologist will have the wisdom to choose the best course of treatment for him.
I will keep you posted as things develop.
Friday, November 28, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
There is never a good time for bad news.
Let me start by saying that I have led what many would call a charmed life. Past my grandfather's death (which I experienced at age four), I have had nothing whatsoever in my life that could be labeled as "trying" or "heartbreaking." Until today.
Today we got the results of my dad's liver biopsy, which he had last Thursday. It came back exactly as I expected--cancer. There, I said it. The big "C."
As of now, we know virtually nothing. We don't know where it originates (although it looks like it is neither lung nor colorectal). The biopsy results seem to point to an origination point in the bile ducts rather than the liver itself, but again, we don't know anything for certain yet.
I have been waiting until we had a definite diagnosis to do my freak-out, but now, even though I have a definite diagnosis, I still can't freak out until I have more information.
I don't even know how to handle this information. As I said, I have nothing in my life to which to compare this. I got the news at lunch today (at work) surrounded by five colleagues, all of whom knew exactly what was happening. There's nothing like getting a cancer diagnosis with five pairs of eyes watching you. I did a lot of shaking, but not a lot of crying, because I was afraid if I lost it, I wouldn't be able to get it together again in time to go back to class. So I am still holding it all in, barely keeping it together.
I guess all I can do at this point is ask for prayer. So please keep my mom and dad in your prayers--my dad as he deals with each step in this process and my mom as she endeavors to take care of both my father and her mother.
Today we got the results of my dad's liver biopsy, which he had last Thursday. It came back exactly as I expected--cancer. There, I said it. The big "C."
As of now, we know virtually nothing. We don't know where it originates (although it looks like it is neither lung nor colorectal). The biopsy results seem to point to an origination point in the bile ducts rather than the liver itself, but again, we don't know anything for certain yet.
I have been waiting until we had a definite diagnosis to do my freak-out, but now, even though I have a definite diagnosis, I still can't freak out until I have more information.
I don't even know how to handle this information. As I said, I have nothing in my life to which to compare this. I got the news at lunch today (at work) surrounded by five colleagues, all of whom knew exactly what was happening. There's nothing like getting a cancer diagnosis with five pairs of eyes watching you. I did a lot of shaking, but not a lot of crying, because I was afraid if I lost it, I wouldn't be able to get it together again in time to go back to class. So I am still holding it all in, barely keeping it together.
I guess all I can do at this point is ask for prayer. So please keep my mom and dad in your prayers--my dad as he deals with each step in this process and my mom as she endeavors to take care of both my father and her mother.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Boat Names
Mark and I have always enjoyed looking at all the boat names in Destin. There are several that we see every year, as they are docked on the canal that goes to the beach house, and then several more that I snapped shots of out in the harbor or at Crab Island. This one, the Par Tea Time, is docked at a house on the same canal as the Vera Cruz house, and while the boat is in need of a paint job, I like it!
This one, we pass as we head out to the harbor.
This is another one that we see each year. This picture was taken coming in out of the harbor heading back to the house.
This is one of our favorites. Not only is the boat beautiful, but we like the airplane on it. We are assuming it belongs to a pilot. Great name!
I really just like the play on words here.
This one is the Gulf Cart II. I laughed out loud when I saw the name. Just thought it was cute.
A boat after my dad's own heart...
This applies to 90% of boat owners. Yep. It's only money.
I snapped this one out on Crab Island. I bet the owner is a redhead!
This one, we pass as we head out to the harbor.
This is another one that we see each year. This picture was taken coming in out of the harbor heading back to the house.
This is one of our favorites. Not only is the boat beautiful, but we like the airplane on it. We are assuming it belongs to a pilot. Great name!
I really just like the play on words here.
This one is the Gulf Cart II. I laughed out loud when I saw the name. Just thought it was cute.
A boat after my dad's own heart...
This applies to 90% of boat owners. Yep. It's only money.
I snapped this one out on Crab Island. I bet the owner is a redhead!
The downfall of having children...
So I am sick. Again. And Dan and Kate are both snotty and coughing. It's all-around fairly miserable in the Kesley household (and of course, once again, Mark has escaped illness, as he always does...). I have decided this is one of the biggest downfalls to having children. You know...other than the lack of sleep and lack of time to do stuff for yourself and the never-ending messy house. But yeah. I hate being sick. That is all.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Election reaction
I am angry. I am livid. For most of the day, I have been without words to express my horror. I have been unable to discuss politics today. I have been, alternately, depressed, angry, and tearful.
I am frustrated with the seeming inability of most Americans to understand basic economic principles. Tax the rich? Hmm, sounds great. But who ever received a job from a poor person?
The plain and simple truth: the rich run our country and drive our economy. The rich hand out the jobs in this (formerly) great nation of ours. The poor accept those jobs. When you tax the rich to death, they eliminate jobs to preserve their companies. Who gets hurt? Um, yeah...the poor.
I am disappointed at this sense of entitlement that seems to plague Americans today. Why work for it when you can take it from someone else who has done the work for you? All hands are out for the Great American Handout. Good planning and fiscal responsibilty is punished, while poor planning and irresponsibility are rewarded with government handouts. My husband's niece, who is 18, is about to drop Baby #2 (Baby #1 came at age 16). Two different daddies, no high school diploma, and no job since Baby #1 arrived. But she has her own apartment (paid for by the government), plenty of baby formula (because, being uneducated, breastfeeding is out of the quetsion, naturally), and a government check on a regular basis. Me? I waited until I had my college degree in hand, a house, a job, and maternity insurance before having my first kid. By that point I had been married 5 1/2 years. What did I get from the government? Umm...nothing. Wait, no, I got a tax credit for the kid. Big stinkin' whoop. So where's MY handout? What exactly, then, is my incentive to do well for myself? To better myself, to be responsible? Exactly. Obama's socialist tendencies make no sense. Socialism takes away everyone's incentive to work.
Mark and I have worked very hard to get where we are today. I resent the idea that $120k is suddenly "wealthy" in the eyes of Obama and his cronies (by the way, did you notice that every time a Democrat gets up to speak, that number goes down? It started at $250k and is steadily working its way downward. By next week it'll be $20k...). Nearly everyone I know makes over $100k a year, and I can promise you they're not living high on the hog. Why is that? Because we're already bearing the brunt of this country's tax burden. I can promise that if Obama increases that tax burden, all those poor Americans will get exactly what they want: the rich will be no more. And the jobs will go out the door with them. I can't wait to say "I told you so" as the country collapses around us. Be careful what you wish for.
I am frustrated with the seeming inability of most Americans to understand basic economic principles. Tax the rich? Hmm, sounds great. But who ever received a job from a poor person?
The plain and simple truth: the rich run our country and drive our economy. The rich hand out the jobs in this (formerly) great nation of ours. The poor accept those jobs. When you tax the rich to death, they eliminate jobs to preserve their companies. Who gets hurt? Um, yeah...the poor.
I am disappointed at this sense of entitlement that seems to plague Americans today. Why work for it when you can take it from someone else who has done the work for you? All hands are out for the Great American Handout. Good planning and fiscal responsibilty is punished, while poor planning and irresponsibility are rewarded with government handouts. My husband's niece, who is 18, is about to drop Baby #2 (Baby #1 came at age 16). Two different daddies, no high school diploma, and no job since Baby #1 arrived. But she has her own apartment (paid for by the government), plenty of baby formula (because, being uneducated, breastfeeding is out of the quetsion, naturally), and a government check on a regular basis. Me? I waited until I had my college degree in hand, a house, a job, and maternity insurance before having my first kid. By that point I had been married 5 1/2 years. What did I get from the government? Umm...nothing. Wait, no, I got a tax credit for the kid. Big stinkin' whoop. So where's MY handout? What exactly, then, is my incentive to do well for myself? To better myself, to be responsible? Exactly. Obama's socialist tendencies make no sense. Socialism takes away everyone's incentive to work.
Mark and I have worked very hard to get where we are today. I resent the idea that $120k is suddenly "wealthy" in the eyes of Obama and his cronies (by the way, did you notice that every time a Democrat gets up to speak, that number goes down? It started at $250k and is steadily working its way downward. By next week it'll be $20k...). Nearly everyone I know makes over $100k a year, and I can promise you they're not living high on the hog. Why is that? Because we're already bearing the brunt of this country's tax burden. I can promise that if Obama increases that tax burden, all those poor Americans will get exactly what they want: the rich will be no more. And the jobs will go out the door with them. I can't wait to say "I told you so" as the country collapses around us. Be careful what you wish for.
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