Thursday, October 23, 2008
Kids Say the Darndest Things...part 2
I'm thinking we're gonna save a ton of cash on college, because my kid is just gonna hit the stand-up comedy circuit. Last night he looks at me and says, "You're being difficult." And of course, I did exactly the wrong thing--instead of being stern with him and telling him he shouldn't talk to me like that, I cracked up. Oh, yes, my friend...it was hilarious.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Kids Really Do Say the Darndest Things!
My kid never fails to crack me up. First of all, when we returned from our trip to Destin, instead of being disappointed that our trip to the beach was over, he ran around with a seemingly adult perspective, saying over and over, "It's so good to be home!" I mean, he's three! Who ever heard of a three-year-old saying that?
But the really funny thing came later. I have a credit account with the Limited, and every so often, they send out these little cards good for a certain amount off of a purchase of a certain amount. So I took the card out of the envelope and laid it down. Apparently (I got this story from my husband), a little bit later, Dan comes by, picks it up, takes it to his father, and says, "What's this?" Mark looked at him and said, "Well, what do you think it is?" Dan thought about it for a minute and said, "Check card." That was funny enough (how does a three-year-old even know about check cards?!), but he quickly followed it up with, "Did you take it away from Mommy?"
The kid is a sponge. He doesn't miss a THING. Because I did get my check card taken away! Well, that's exaggerating a bit. It makes me sound a little like a twelve-year-old, doesn't it? The truth is, I surrendered it willingly to my husband because I can't be trusted with the thing. I swipe it so much that I'm surprised the plastic hasn't melted yet. So in accordance with our new "hey-let's-actually-not-spend-every-last-dime-we-make" financial plan, I allowed my check card to go live in Mark's wallet, to be handed out to me only when I need to buy gas or groceries or other necessities--NOT to be used, say, for really cute notecards at Annabelle Ink or for a shopping spree at Kohl's, or for that Margaritaville margarita maker I've had my eye on at Target. You know.
So apparently Dan has been quietly listening, taking all of that in, and it popped right back out at just the right time. I am beginning to see where he has the potential to reeeeally embarrass us. I may have to do the impossible--start keeping my mouth shut!
But the really funny thing came later. I have a credit account with the Limited, and every so often, they send out these little cards good for a certain amount off of a purchase of a certain amount. So I took the card out of the envelope and laid it down. Apparently (I got this story from my husband), a little bit later, Dan comes by, picks it up, takes it to his father, and says, "What's this?" Mark looked at him and said, "Well, what do you think it is?" Dan thought about it for a minute and said, "Check card." That was funny enough (how does a three-year-old even know about check cards?!), but he quickly followed it up with, "Did you take it away from Mommy?"
The kid is a sponge. He doesn't miss a THING. Because I did get my check card taken away! Well, that's exaggerating a bit. It makes me sound a little like a twelve-year-old, doesn't it? The truth is, I surrendered it willingly to my husband because I can't be trusted with the thing. I swipe it so much that I'm surprised the plastic hasn't melted yet. So in accordance with our new "hey-let's-actually-not-spend-every-last-dime-we-make" financial plan, I allowed my check card to go live in Mark's wallet, to be handed out to me only when I need to buy gas or groceries or other necessities--NOT to be used, say, for really cute notecards at Annabelle Ink or for a shopping spree at Kohl's, or for that Margaritaville margarita maker I've had my eye on at Target. You know.
So apparently Dan has been quietly listening, taking all of that in, and it popped right back out at just the right time. I am beginning to see where he has the potential to reeeeally embarrass us. I may have to do the impossible--start keeping my mouth shut!
Monday, October 6, 2008
On the water in October
So to make up for my last entry, this one'll be short and sweet. We took both the boat and the WaveRunner out on the Hiwassee yesterday and played around--Mark and I took Dan (Kate got some facetime with Gammie and Papa), and Mark's brother and his girlfriend and his cousin and his girlfriend (or whatever) came along, too. We had a great time, but I couldn't quite get past the fact that I was skiing in October. On the Hiwassee. With no wetsuit. Is it just me, or is that bizarre?
And the really strange part is...it wasn't that cold.
Ok, that is all.
And the really strange part is...it wasn't that cold.
Ok, that is all.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Political Rant (You have been warned)
Since I am apparently one of only 27 adults under the age of forty that is NOT supporting Barack Obama in the upcoming Presidential election, let me take this opportunity to air my feelings on the subject.
First: I am a Christian. I am a Republitarian (that's a Republican Libertarian for those of you who don't listen to Larry Elder). I am adamantly against abortion. Therefore, I think high schools, middle schools, and hell, even elementary schools should be handing out birth control and condoms like candy (this is where I am an anomaly amongst my conservative brethren--you can't have it both ways, people). I think that I went to college and earned a degree, got married, and waited until I had good health insurance and a decent income before I started popping out babies, and didn't expect the government to pay for it, and therefore I don't think I should have to pay for your (or anyone else's) progeny. I think that if I earned it, then it's mine, dammit, and the government doesn't have the right to take it from me to fund things like WIC, welfare, and foreign aid to 100 countries that hate our asses and want to see us all dead. I think that public education is a fine concept, but that school vouchers should be handed out to any parent that does not wish to partake of our miserable public education system (and that statement just came straight from the mouth of a public school teacher, y'all). I think a lot of other things, too, but it's too much to put here and besides, I doubt most of you care.
That said, let me start in on Obama now that you know where I'm coming from. And to be honest...I don't even know where to start. The man's hubris never fails to amaze me (such as the statement he made in the debate the other night when he went on about meeting with the Treasury Secretary last year to "inform" him of the danger that our economy is in, because he wanted to "make sure he knew," yada, yada, yada... Excuse me? I'm sorry, I didn't know Obama was more knowledgeable about economics than our Treasury Secretary. Clearly I'm in the dark here), but it's the blind devotion of those who adore him that befuddles me even more. First there are the people who are voting for him "because he's black." Are you serious? What would people say if I declared that I was voting for McCain because he's white? Never mind his politics, you see...it's all about his race. Please.
Then there are the people who are seemingly either ignorant of the fact that he is an admitted admirer of Marxist ideology or just don't care. Add to that the fact that he is a known associate of a convicted terrorist (William Ayers of the Weather Underground, who has gone on the record as stating that he does not regret his actions and would do it all over again if given the opportunity). We haven't even scratched the surface of what's wrong with Obama, and that right there is enough to scare the bejeesus out of me. With Hillary, I just had a plain old disagreement with her politics--no big deal. But Obama? I see him as truly dangerous for our nation.
Moving on, we have his economic policies. First, there is his plainly stated goal of "wealth redistribution." Um, excuse me? Are you serious? Again, we're back to the Marxism. Does that sound like communism to anyone else? I'm sorry, people, but when did wealth become the new Axis of Evil? If it weren't for the wealthy of America, our country would be dead, since the top 5% of earners pay 95% of the taxes. But politicians in general and Democrats in particular spend hours moaning about the evil rich who are hogging everything and don't want to share. Well...why the hell should they share? Whether they earned it or inherited it, their money is their money and no one else has any right to it. "But they don't need all that money," liberals say. Well, I have two jewelry boxes full of jewelry that I don't need, a boat that I don't need, a whole lot more clothes than I need, and a lot of other stuff that I don't need, but the point is that this is America, where every person has the opportunity to go out and make the most of themselves and keep what's theirs, and if that means going out and becoming a mega-billionaire and not giving one red cent back to charity (although I do agree that that is selfish and icky), then so be it. If someone came to my house and said, "You don't need that boat," and proceeded to haul it away, um, I'd call the cops and they would be arrested for theft. You see where I'm going with this?
So Obama's idea is hey, we're not going to tax you, oh no. We're going to tax your wealthy employer. Absolutely! We'll tax the corporations, not the people! Ahh, it's brilliant! It's fail-proof! The only thing that could possibly go wrong is...the wealthy corporations get tired of being taxed to death and either lay people off left and right to save cash, or just move overseas where they can pay impoverished 8-year-olds three cents a month to work a lot harder than a spoiled American ever would. Excellent idea.
Moving on. Gas prices. Ahh, yes...more Obama brilliance shining through. His idea? Better technology! Let's say NO to drilling, because that would be baaaaaaad for the wildlife, my friends (and keep in mind that no one ever met a bigger animal lover than me...I've got four freakin' cats that I didn't want because they were strays and I couldn't stand seeing them go hungry). So instead of drilling, we'll just come up with better technology that weans us from our independence from oil! Well, that's a great idea, and doggone it, it needs to be done, because whether we drill or not, our oil is running out. But in the meantime, gas prices are through the roof. So let's say that under President Obama, Detroit is given a mandate to "Get Us Off of Gas or Else!" And then let's say that Detroit does that by 2010. And let's further suppose (because as long we're dreaming, we might as well dream big here) that Detroit manages to design, test, and mass-produce a gas-free (or gas-reduced) car for the bargain price of $10k. Umm, great. But here's the problem. If I'm a single mom with three hungry children, living in the ghetto and working at KFC for $7 an hour, driving a 1978 Gremlin, that brand-spanking-new $10k gas-free machine is still pitifully out of my reach. And therefore, I need you to do something about gas prices NOW. Technology doesn't help me. Drilling does.
Which brings me to my issue with liberals in general and Obama in particular. They are dreamers. They are not living in the real world. These things sound great to the uneducated ear (and I can't for the life of me figure out why so many supposedly educated people are gung-ho for this guy!), but they just don't make any practical sense. Mind you, I am not a conservative because I'm a Bible-thumping, racist, homophobic, sexist psycho who thinks that gays should be burned at the stake and people living together before marriage are damned to hell (come to think of it...I've never actually met a conservative who thinks like that). I'm a conservative because it just makes sense.
So that's my totally disjointed anti-Obama rant for the evening, although I would fall over in shock if anyone actually read this far. Next up: why I think Sarah Palin is the shiz and why I am so irritated and yet amused at those who hate/are terrified of her.
First: I am a Christian. I am a Republitarian (that's a Republican Libertarian for those of you who don't listen to Larry Elder). I am adamantly against abortion. Therefore, I think high schools, middle schools, and hell, even elementary schools should be handing out birth control and condoms like candy (this is where I am an anomaly amongst my conservative brethren--you can't have it both ways, people). I think that I went to college and earned a degree, got married, and waited until I had good health insurance and a decent income before I started popping out babies, and didn't expect the government to pay for it, and therefore I don't think I should have to pay for your (or anyone else's) progeny. I think that if I earned it, then it's mine, dammit, and the government doesn't have the right to take it from me to fund things like WIC, welfare, and foreign aid to 100 countries that hate our asses and want to see us all dead. I think that public education is a fine concept, but that school vouchers should be handed out to any parent that does not wish to partake of our miserable public education system (and that statement just came straight from the mouth of a public school teacher, y'all). I think a lot of other things, too, but it's too much to put here and besides, I doubt most of you care.
That said, let me start in on Obama now that you know where I'm coming from. And to be honest...I don't even know where to start. The man's hubris never fails to amaze me (such as the statement he made in the debate the other night when he went on about meeting with the Treasury Secretary last year to "inform" him of the danger that our economy is in, because he wanted to "make sure he knew," yada, yada, yada... Excuse me? I'm sorry, I didn't know Obama was more knowledgeable about economics than our Treasury Secretary. Clearly I'm in the dark here), but it's the blind devotion of those who adore him that befuddles me even more. First there are the people who are voting for him "because he's black." Are you serious? What would people say if I declared that I was voting for McCain because he's white? Never mind his politics, you see...it's all about his race. Please.
Then there are the people who are seemingly either ignorant of the fact that he is an admitted admirer of Marxist ideology or just don't care. Add to that the fact that he is a known associate of a convicted terrorist (William Ayers of the Weather Underground, who has gone on the record as stating that he does not regret his actions and would do it all over again if given the opportunity). We haven't even scratched the surface of what's wrong with Obama, and that right there is enough to scare the bejeesus out of me. With Hillary, I just had a plain old disagreement with her politics--no big deal. But Obama? I see him as truly dangerous for our nation.
Moving on, we have his economic policies. First, there is his plainly stated goal of "wealth redistribution." Um, excuse me? Are you serious? Again, we're back to the Marxism. Does that sound like communism to anyone else? I'm sorry, people, but when did wealth become the new Axis of Evil? If it weren't for the wealthy of America, our country would be dead, since the top 5% of earners pay 95% of the taxes. But politicians in general and Democrats in particular spend hours moaning about the evil rich who are hogging everything and don't want to share. Well...why the hell should they share? Whether they earned it or inherited it, their money is their money and no one else has any right to it. "But they don't need all that money," liberals say. Well, I have two jewelry boxes full of jewelry that I don't need, a boat that I don't need, a whole lot more clothes than I need, and a lot of other stuff that I don't need, but the point is that this is America, where every person has the opportunity to go out and make the most of themselves and keep what's theirs, and if that means going out and becoming a mega-billionaire and not giving one red cent back to charity (although I do agree that that is selfish and icky), then so be it. If someone came to my house and said, "You don't need that boat," and proceeded to haul it away, um, I'd call the cops and they would be arrested for theft. You see where I'm going with this?
So Obama's idea is hey, we're not going to tax you, oh no. We're going to tax your wealthy employer. Absolutely! We'll tax the corporations, not the people! Ahh, it's brilliant! It's fail-proof! The only thing that could possibly go wrong is...the wealthy corporations get tired of being taxed to death and either lay people off left and right to save cash, or just move overseas where they can pay impoverished 8-year-olds three cents a month to work a lot harder than a spoiled American ever would. Excellent idea.
Moving on. Gas prices. Ahh, yes...more Obama brilliance shining through. His idea? Better technology! Let's say NO to drilling, because that would be baaaaaaad for the wildlife, my friends (and keep in mind that no one ever met a bigger animal lover than me...I've got four freakin' cats that I didn't want because they were strays and I couldn't stand seeing them go hungry). So instead of drilling, we'll just come up with better technology that weans us from our independence from oil! Well, that's a great idea, and doggone it, it needs to be done, because whether we drill or not, our oil is running out. But in the meantime, gas prices are through the roof. So let's say that under President Obama, Detroit is given a mandate to "Get Us Off of Gas or Else!" And then let's say that Detroit does that by 2010. And let's further suppose (because as long we're dreaming, we might as well dream big here) that Detroit manages to design, test, and mass-produce a gas-free (or gas-reduced) car for the bargain price of $10k. Umm, great. But here's the problem. If I'm a single mom with three hungry children, living in the ghetto and working at KFC for $7 an hour, driving a 1978 Gremlin, that brand-spanking-new $10k gas-free machine is still pitifully out of my reach. And therefore, I need you to do something about gas prices NOW. Technology doesn't help me. Drilling does.
Which brings me to my issue with liberals in general and Obama in particular. They are dreamers. They are not living in the real world. These things sound great to the uneducated ear (and I can't for the life of me figure out why so many supposedly educated people are gung-ho for this guy!), but they just don't make any practical sense. Mind you, I am not a conservative because I'm a Bible-thumping, racist, homophobic, sexist psycho who thinks that gays should be burned at the stake and people living together before marriage are damned to hell (come to think of it...I've never actually met a conservative who thinks like that). I'm a conservative because it just makes sense.
So that's my totally disjointed anti-Obama rant for the evening, although I would fall over in shock if anyone actually read this far. Next up: why I think Sarah Palin is the shiz and why I am so irritated and yet amused at those who hate/are terrified of her.
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